Signs you’re living out of alignment

The word 'alignment' is getting thrown around a lot in the spiritual community recently, so let's start by addressing what living in alignment actually means... In short, living in alignment is when our thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and actions are all supportive of our soul's intent — what we came here to give. We all incarnated on this Earth to give something, alongside having the experiences and learning the lessons that allows our soul to continue its journey of evolution and expansion. In this post, we'll cover signs you're living out of alignment and explore what causes us to get there in the first place. We'll also learn how to identify what needs your attention first, as well as a tried and tested practice to assist you in your return to an aligned state.

We each have our unique spark to offer and brighten the world with

So, what does it look and feel like when we've gotten ourselves off track?

• We are tired frequently and rarely feel energized

• We seem to keep attracting the same situations/relationships over and over

• We develop illness / disease / health conditions

• We feel anxious, depressed, or stressed constantly

• We are highly reactive (emotional outbursts or shutting down and dissociating)

• We feel jealous or resentful towards others for having things we want

• We rely on escapism (food, drugs, TV e.t.c) to feel joy

• We act in opposition to how we feel deep down (people pleasing, conforming, deceit)

• We have narrow perspectives and always think we are right
  

Most of us can relate to at least a few of the things on this list. In the modern Western world, we have inadvertantly become really good at focusing on our external world and totally neglecting our internal world.

We put so much blame on the external world, or try so hard to change it in an attempt to satiate the frustrations of what's going on inside of us. When we are living out of alignment, we continue to affirm the narratives that keep us right and our story the same.

"Everything would be so much easier if..." "If I had X then I'd finally be able to..." "If that never happened, then I wouldn't feel..."

It's not that how we feel about our life experiences should be brushed under the carpet and exchanged for a bracing shot of toxic positivity with a chaser of 'just think happy and you'll be happy!'. In fact it's the exact opposite (but more on that later). It's that staying in a narrative that keeps you exactly where you don't want to be, simply just doesn't make any sense.

It blocks your ability to let go of the things that weigh you down, keep you ill, keep you resentful, keep you in lack, keep you disempowered.

And what do those things get you? Not your dream life. Not the life where you wake up with excitement to get out of bed, instead of your first thought being "here we go again". Or the one where your face lights up with a gentle smile as you drive through traffic, just because the sky looks pretty outside. Or the life where your self-belief has literally become so strong that you end up achieving things you couldn't have even dreamt of at this moment in time.

We live in a world of too much distraction and too little discomfort Don't believe me? Go and sit in a room and do nothing for an hour. By yourself, no screens, no music, no distracting yourself with anything to pass the time. Simply sit with yourself. And just notice...how many times your hand twitches with the muscle memory of reaching for your phone or how often your brain tries to find something, anything to do to keep its need for stimulus fed. Social media, TV, marketing, the ingredients in our food...everything today is designed to grab and keep your attention. Attention is a silent currency, far more valuable than money. Power over our attention is how we are kept in a state of consuming instead of creating, lack instead of abundance, and fear instead of fulfillment. Trade your attention wisely. We have 24/7 temperature control, supermarkets, same-day shipping, blackout blinds...We live in a more convenient and comfortable environment than any of our ancestors did, and yet life still feels so hard. Pro tip: Start doing something that makes you uncomfortable every week. Take a cold shower, start a conversation with a stranger, try a new sport, say no to someone.

On the other side of challenge is freedom

So, what does it matter if stay in my comfort zone? We have a lot of internal discomfort. We're really good at distracting ourselves from it. One of the most valuable skills you can learn is the ability to become comfortable with discomfort. Because all the things that are keeping you out of alignment? They're uncomfortable to pay attention to.

Remember, at the beginning, I told you we all came here to give something? Well, when we're keeping ourselves too distracted to figure out what that is, our soul cries out.

And that is very uncomfortable, because it comes in the form of feeling lonely- even when we're surrounded by loved ones. It comes droves of headaches and back pain. It comes in lashing out at those closest to us or lying in bed for days, struggling to find a reason to leave the house. And the answers to why these things are happening?

They're all accessible. Hidden away under all our vices and crutches, our escape tactics, narratives, and stories. All it requires is being present with ourselves for long enough to feel all the things we've been suppressing, numbing, ignoring. Sometimes (a lot of the time) this means going right into the discomfort, and allowing all the messages we were too distracted to listen to, to come up. Finally acknowledging them, allowing them, actually helps us heal them. And bit by bit, we find our way back to the real us. The one underneath all the baggage we've been lugging around for our whole lives. The soul who came here to give something to the world.

We call each part of ourselves home that we left behind (intentionally or unintentionally) and begin to feel whole again. We realize we have true agency over how we think, feel and act. We get to choose what type of life we're going to live and what type of person we're going to be.

We align ourselves to the version of us that in their final breaths thinks: "Wow...what a life. I wouldn't change a thing." Okay, so maybe I need to work on a few things...where do I even start? Firstly, want to say that I know this isn't easy, so if you've gotten this far in the article, it's because you're really ready to honour yourself by doing the work. A heartfelt well done from one human to another. I promise, it's worth it. Sit down, take some deep breaths, close your eyes, and ask yourself, "To come back into alignment, which aspect of me most needs my attention?".

You may hear an answer in your mind, it may come in the form of words, a memory or even a feeling (like an ache in your chest would suggest your heart chakra needs your focus). If none of these things happen, don't worry! You can try automatic writing, which is where (after asking the question) you begin to write, allowing the words to simply flow through your pen. Don't overthink it, don't try to manipulate them to make more sense.

* Think of it like those facebook posts where you just smash the predictive text button to get the answer to complete some random statement like "If I was a pornstar, my name would be..." Note: these answers will not sound like "you need to lose weight" or "stop being so emotional". Harsh words come from the ego; it's just trying to keep you safe in the familiar. No, these words will come from a loving place, from your higher self that only wants to show you where you need to re-align with your soul. They will sound like "nurture your body with love and respect" or "you are talking without listening, be present in your communication with yourself and with others."

Self discipline is the highest form of self love

This one simple practice can change the way you live forever I had been unconsciously practicing this from a very young age, but when I found out it was an NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) technique and started using it proactively, it really was a game-changer. Now, just a quick reminder, this really is a marathon, not a sprint. When you have your answers from the exercise above, be curious about yourself, not judgmental. Keep your focus on 2-3 things max so that you can really dedicate your awareness to where you are getting triggered around these themes, and make sustainable headway. This practice brings your awareness to your unconscious behaviour, and you've probably already experienced this before. In the moment that your trigger shows up, even if you still repeat the trigger and do nothing differently (we are just getting started, so let's be patient with ourselves), I want you to zoom out in your mind and pretend that you are watching your life like a movie. You don't just know all the experiences this character in the movie has had; you know the backstories of the full cast (aka the people in your life). And as you do this, you begin to detach from the hightened emotion that has caused this trigger, out of your singular perspective and into an expanded one. And in this moment, you are able to see the situation for the truth of what it is, because you're not you. You are a separate entity who has no personal investment in the matter and can see the whole picture.

You can learn to see beyond the character your playing

And you're suddenly very aware that this person you're watching is reacting because of something that they're holding on to inside of them. You see the other people in the movie doing the same, how they're all getting tangled up in all kinds of messes, because they're hurting in some way.

Then, you zoom back in and just let that expanded perspective sink in. Fight the urge to go back to your singular perspective, and just notice what feels different.

Maybe you choose different words or actions in an argument, maybe you question if you really want that cigarette, maybe you stop crying and remember how much you have to be grateful for. Maybe just becoming aware that you got triggered makes you more attuned to noticing the warning signs, and you start to plan what you can do about that next time. Bonus practice: Imagine a future where you no longer have this trigger. Tune in to that future version of you who's so happy they prioritized their health and is now walking for an hour every morning, or who let go of being worried about what people think of how they dress and walk around with unshakable confidence?

How does it feel to be in their skin? How would they react differently to you now? What limits no longer constrain them? You can play the main character(and you totally should, this is your life!) *Cue Frank Sinatra's 'I Did It My Way' But this practice that takes you out of the borders of you, of your identity, allows you to see that you are also the writer, director, and producer of your life. Need Some Help?

If you'd like to learn how explore yourself deeply, receive guidance on how to uncover the keys to all those locked doors that are blocking your path, and discover the steps you need to return to alignment, come and start your journey with Alignment Therapy. Alignment Therapy is an interactive method of self-healing, where together, we uncover the lessons needed for personal growth, allowing for greater self-awareness and opportunity for fulfillment. I hope this article has given you more clarity and opened up fresh perspectives that you can now explore with new eyes

With Love, Emma